3:59 PM
Just saw this posted on the non-LSU board on Tiger Roar and thought I'd share it...
Credit goes to "JW"
The Complete Military History of France
Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War - Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
Let's face it. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. There's no national anthem in the world as ludicrous as France's
José María Aznar, Spain
José Manuel Durão Barroso, Portugal
Silvio Berlusconi, Italy
Tony Blair, United Kingdom
Václav Havel, Czech Republic
Peter Medgyessy, Hungary
Leszek Miller, Poland
Anders Fogh Rasmussen, Denmark
Leave it to the French (whose last major war stands out for their great strategy of sending their superior horseback calvary out to face German tanks) and Germany to not support the effort. But that's mostly because they both have an oil contract with Iraq right now that they fear losing in the war.
Of course guess which country would be the first to the rescue if something happened to either of these countries (hint: it starts with a U, ends in an A and has an S in the middle)
1:27 AM
To paraphrase Zack Morris:
"College is a lot of fun. Too bad they let all those classes get in the way."
That's about how I'm feeling this week. I just don't care about school.
Monday, January 27, 2003
9:55 PM
Well looks like war may be closer than people think.
If you look at Drudge Report, the headline is that Bush is planning a big off the record lunch with several national news anchors tomorrow afternoon (before the State of the Union address tomorrow night)
Does he want to warn them about something major he'll be announcing so they don't over react on-air? Will part of his address include the words "the bombing of Baghdad has begun"?
Keep your eyes and ears open, I've got a feeling that, as Phil Breaux would say, the fit is about to hit the shan.
10:35 PM
Leftovers from the Superbowl Party. LSU potluck at its finest.
1/2 pot of red beans
pot of gumbo
2 ziplock bags of rice
half a tray of pasta bake
2 frozen pizzas
1 bag frozen pizza rolls
1/2 gallon ziplock bag of grilled hamburger patties
gallon ziplock bag of homemade fried chicken
3 1/2 packs of hamburger buns
bowl of macaronni and cheese
1 desert tray with 1/4 chocolate cake, 1/4 rice krispy treat cake, chocolate chip cookies, a slice of king cake
4 iced cookies
1/4 bag of mini M&Ms
countless bags of chips
about 15 2Ls of various Cokes
50 or so party cups
3 packs of plastic cups/forks
large bag of ice
Anyone hungry?
Saturday, January 25, 2003
3:41 AM
WWE.com put up a cool picture of the Steiner Brothers from when they were WWF Tag Team Champions back in the early 90s (1993???).
Anyway, I know some visitors here are wrestling fans and might like a pic of Big Poppa Pump and the Dog Faced Gremlin back when they didn't suck.
5:38 PM
Top Ten Things Kiwanis Can Spend Money on Instead of Paying Lawyers to Sue Websites and Members
10. Better Officer Manuals
9. More Trustee visits
8. Bring back IELI
7. Increase number of staff to improve support
6. Scholarships
5. Tomorrow Fund
4. IDD
3. Pay higher insurance so CKI members can come within 5 miles of alcohol at an event
2. MAKE CIRCLEK.ORG A FUNCTIONAL AND USEFUL WEBSITE
And the Number 1 Thing Kiwanis Can Spend Money on Instead of Paying Lawyers to Sue Websites and Members
USE IT FOR SOME SORT OF SERVICE PROJECT THAT ACTUALLY HELPS PEOPLE
Didn't have school on Monday. Since I have a night class that meets on Monday only, I can't comment on Dr. Shuffield yet.
Now the Tuesday Thursday schedule:
10:30-12:00: ISDS 3115 Operations Management - Woosley
Woosley is kind of dry, but the class has eliminated the group semester project this semester in favor of more problem sets. I am very OK with this. Last time I was in the class, it required doing problem sets in your groups and other fun things that work well in theory but suck in principle (busy schedules when everyone is a full time student and working). That was a very minor reason I dropped the class the first time. Tests are broken up into two days and 45 minutes each. One for multiple choice/discussion and one for problems. Very nice.
1:30-3:00: MGT 3830 Strategic Management of Organizations - Schwab
Schwab is a professor from Germany. I have never heard the phrase "shitty" come out a professor's mouth so many times in one class period, and that includes all of Phil Breaux's Sports Law classes. This is the business course that all LSU graduating seniors are required to take. Instead of the normal big group presentation that most sections of this class does, he's having us do a few group case studies and a much more discussion based class. Again, I am very OK with this. Also, instead of a lot of the mathematical/financial planning done in other sections (like Ant had to do last semester) he uses a book/philosphy that plans come together not from modeling but from the various ways people actually think and work within an organization. Sounds like this will be a fun class. He had us all introduce ourselves, our majors, work experience, and future plans. Let's just say I'm not the only Business graduate having trouble finding work apparantly.
3:00-4:30: FIN 3531 Principles of Finance - Slawson
Slawson is one of the professors I've worked for since I've been a freshman. This is the easier of the two real estate classes he teaches and I got an A in the hard one last semester. I'm not worried about this one at all and have been told its safe to skip the two weeks he goes over the actual finance stuff since I had an entire semester of it already.
So there's my semester thus far. I'm sure everyone is now better off for having read all that I had to say.
Also, if you've been a wrestling fan anytime since 1985, you might want to watch Smackdown this week BROTHER.
4:52 PM
Hey just adding some new features on the blog.
I've got countdowns at the top of the page and a poll on the left. Just seeing how much I can do with this site and keep it free and only one page.
Just thought I'd share my match ratings for the Rumble. When I rate, its out of 5 stars and not just workrate but entertainment as well. DUDs (horrible matches) and negative stars (worse than a DUD, an embarassment to wrestling) are possible. ** means decent/average match.
Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show: **3/4
Kept the match short and simple to mask Big Show's suckiness. Was hard hitting and intense for the short match it was. Good job by the WWE on this one being decent.
Dudley Boyz vs. Regal/Storm: *1/2
Aside from the ending, nothing special stands out in my mind. I'm going *1/2 because there was nothing horribly offensive in the match, but the ending and the fact that it will be overturned in a very nWo way tomorrow on Nitraw docks it a little.
Dawn Marie Wilson vs. Torrie Wilson: DUD
The match sucked, the story leading up to it sucked. Torrie and Dawn being in the outfits they were in RAISED this match to the level of DUD.
Raw Heavyweight Championship Match
Triple H vs. Scott Steiner: *
CHEAP ENDINGS SUCK! Match was nothing special, Scott Steiner messed up a double underhook powerbomb so badly that the crowd turned on him for the rest of the match. Then there was that ending. Ugh. And the best part is that we probably get to see this AGAIN next month at No Way Out and/or at WrestleMania! I'm really looking forward to that!
Smackdown Heavyweight Championship Match
"My Olympic Hero" Kurt Angle vs. "The Canadian Crippler" Chris Benoit: *****
Awesome AWESOME match. Suplexes, counters out of no where, and no interference/cheap endings. Not much more that you can ask for and the crowd gave both men a standing ovation.
Royal Rumble
30 WWE Superstars: ***
Awesome begining, boring middle (Batista, 3 Minute Warning, John Cena, Rikishi, Albert), and an anti climatic final four. Mattiude Ver 1.0, MFer #1 and RVD kept the middle part from really sucking and the awesomeness from the first half (Rey Rey, Edge & Christian, Chavo, Y2J and Christian) made the match pretty good.
Average Match Rating: **1/4
Torrie/Dawn Marie and HHH/Steiner really hurt the show. Take them out and the average match rating rises to ***.
Here's something neat to look at. This is a picture of the world lit up on a cloudless night via satelite (a composite since the entire world can't be cloudless). It's interesting to see where the power (electricity/light) isn't. North Korea is in the dark, as in most of China (except for the eastern half), Russia (except along its trans-Siberian Railroad I believe), Canada, Africa, Australia, and South America.
Also found it neat how most of the eastern US seems to be a constant grid of power while the west's lights are isolated to the large metro areas (check out California).
I think the biggest suprise though was all the light coming from India. For all the famine going on their, they can do a lot of microwaving.
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
7:30 PM
Hey I know the NCAA is coming sniffing a little more, but even I think this is little too presumptuous :-)
Make your own jokes and leave them in the comments.
And no, this is NOT a parody, they are actually selling these for people that want to be buried this way. Yes the coffin is painted crimson...
Well tonight is the 10th anniversary of Monday Night Raw, a show I've been watching since the first episode back in 1993 (and before that, the old WWF Prime Time Wrestling).
Since that first show, the people appearing/mentioned on that first show and sill around/back in the WWE are:
Vince McMahon
Jerry Lawler
Shawn Michaels
Scott Steiner
The Undertaker
Fatu (Rikishi)
Ric Flair
No, I didn't have that memorized. I was able to see what happened on that first show thanks to CRZ, a guy that until recently recapped every episode of Raw and Smackdown and many Nitros and Thunders. He has archives dating back to 1992 on his site Slash Wrestling. Neat thing about his recaps is that he typed out interviews word for word (including every single "What" in some of Stone Cold's last promos).
Anyway Raw's going to have a special tomorrow night revealing what the "fans" determined to be the top moment in Raw history. However, there were some big things I remember that they left off the choices and thought I'd post them here since I have nothing better to do at work right now.
Brain Pillman pulls a gun on Steve Austin
This was in the early days of Raw Is War. Austin and Pillman were fueding but Pillman was injured at home. So Stone Cold decided he would go to Pillman's house (where WWF cameras were waiting, go figure) to get to him and when he broke into the house, Pillman drew a handgun to protect his family. Cameras cut away fast and the rest of the night had someone in the area (whoever was Michael Cole before Michael Cole was hired) was there saying the police radio said shots were fired. USA got a big pile of complaint calls, started putting the WWF on a 7 second delay and the incident was never spoken of again by the WWF, but lots of media coverage came from it.
The Radicalz leave WCW for the WWF
At one of the stupider points in WCW history, before a Nitro, management offered anyone who wanted out to leave right away with a contract buyout. Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn, and Eddie Guerrero took them up on the offer and the next Monday appeared on Raw instead of Nitro. While only 2 ever did anything big in the WWF/E, they represented the best wrestlers WCW had to offer and their release was a big coup for the WWF because WCW had lost 4 of its best workers (and the current reigning WCW Champion Chris Benoit).
ECW appears on Raw
No, not the night the Alliance was made. This was back when I was in highschool. Most of the WWF was in Europe working the original European title tournament and Raw had just switched to 2 hours. Vince needed something to fill in the time with, so he called up Paul Heyman and got ECW to fill in the slots. Bear, kendo sticks, and blood were all introduced on WWF TV for the first time and it was also the WWF premiers for the Dudley Boys, Tommy Dreamer, Rob Van Dam, Taz, Stevie Richards, the Blue Meanie, and Perry Saturn. I remember this because I went to a WWF house show in New Orleans that Friday and the card was exactly the same as Raw except that instead of ECW matches we got such classics as Jake Roberts vs. one of the Headbangers and I was pissed that I didn't get to see any big stars (Bret and Owen Hart, HBK, Austin, etc.) or ECW.
Anyway, those were three big ones I could remember off the top of my head. There's a lot more but most of them are listed on WWE.com already.
BTW, my vote for biggest moment in Raw history was the joint telecast of Raw and Nitro. I never thought I'd see the night when I'd tune in to TNT and the first thing on my screen would be Vince McMahon or see a McMahon (Shane) standing the middle of the ring at Nitro.
11:49 AM
Hey just added a few new things to the left side of the page today. I've put up what is looking to roughly be my weekly schedule for this semester (though some meetings still need to be added) as well as my current resume on the odd chance that anyone visiting here might be able to get me a job. Also there's a link up now where you can reach me on AOL IM right from this page.
Sunday, January 12, 2003
3:50 PM
Hey check out this neat age link. Punch in your age and it gives you a list of celebrities with similar birthdays and your age during major historical events. I was:
20 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
19 years old on the first day of Y2K
16 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
14 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
13 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
12 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
10 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
9 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
5 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
3 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
2 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
not yet 1 year old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
1 years old at the time the first Cheers episode was televised
5 years old when L.A. Law was first aired on TV
6 years old at the time the series Married with Children began
9 years old when Seinfeld was first televised
10 years old in the month Home Improvement began
13 years old at the time the TV series Friends began
15 years old when Everybody Loves Raymond first aired
18 years old when Who Wants To Be A Millionaire began in the US
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
10:24 PM
OK my attempt at the redo of Big Chief is up, let me know what you think!
Ug needs work...
OK NOW let me know what you think. (Seriously, if it sounds bad on your comp I want to know!)
I know that people are hearing the MIDIs that I am putting up here and are enjoying them to some extent, but I've decided to do a little more than usual with them today. The MIDIs I've been putting up are MIDIs that I find online and then just do a little bit of reinstrumentation and rebalancing on. Well, I've decided that I'm going to a little more with Big Chief because its a pretty simple song and I have time right now. I'm going to try to completely redo the song and see if any of that musical knowledge I've gotten over the years is still in my head. I'llbe putting on a new rythym track (this one is really bothering me), rearranging the parts, and adding in whistling (the way Professor Longhair did the song). Once I get it to where I want it to be (which maybe be days or weeks depending on how it goes), I'll post it up here.
Oh, and I've been sitting at work doing nothing since 11:15 this morning.
2:25 AM
This year's stupid trade by the New Orleans Saints revealed!
Last I checked, Turley was pretty popular with younger fans (those people with that disposable income stuff) and the guy that had to protect Aaron "Pro Bowl" Brooks' blind spot. Popular and responsible for protecting your prima donna quarterback. There's no reason that the Saints should trade him.
That's exactly why they will. The Saints have a great history of getting rid of good players and watching their careers flourish elsewhere (Pro Bowl selections Ricky Williams and Willie Roaf most recently). So who's next? Hey, lets get rid of local heros Michael Lewis and Jake Delhomme and watch them go be stars in some other city!
I'm predicting the return of the bag heads next year and another Ole Miss-style breakdown at the end of the season.
Thanks to the beauty of IP logging and this geographical network trace route I've been able to see where some visitors are coming here from. I've had guests since 1 this morning from Detroit, Minneapolis, Atlanta, Australia, and Singapore (???)! I know these are probably just where major servers or whatever are for people, so those might not be exact towns (yet Hattiesburg does show up, wierd). Anyway, I'd love to know who some of these visitors are, so drop me a line (my e-mail is on the geauxld column on the left) or leave a comment. A majority of my referrals come from Bobby, Justin, and various posts I make on Tigerroar when I remember to leave this link in my sig. Anyway, hope to hear from some of you soon.
12:32 AM
Happy King's Day Everyone!
and for the last time, MERRY CHRISTMAS!
You're confused, right?
Well here's the explanation, January 6th is the 12th day of Christmas (remember that song?). Traditionally, this is the day that the three wise men reached Nazarath and brought their gifts with them and the little drummer boy played. That's right none of that happened on December 25.
Anyway, I'm from New Orleans, and Jan 6 has a much more important meaning...
IT'S CARNIVAL TIME!
This is the first day of the Carnival (often mispoken as Mardi Gras) Season. Debutante Balls, masking, and King Cake (on King's Day - now you know why its called that) are all brought out for the first time tonight and revelry reigns supreme until Mardi Gras Day, which is very late (March 4) this year.
So that being said, Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouller!
Sunday, January 05, 2003
2:50 AM
The Saints didn't make it to the playoffs and now the Packers are out after losing their first playoff game at Lambeau EVER to the Falcons of all people. Guess I'll be watching the Superbowl for commercials this year. In all the mess, I did enjoy seeing the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS put an ass whoopin on that Newman Greenie :-)
Ohio State won the MNC (aka Meaningless National Championship) last night. Easily the best championship game we've had in Div I. Just one question. Is Ohio State's fight song a song from the 1960s? The entire 4th Quarter and Overtime I kept hearing the Buckeye Band (Best band in the land my ASS OSU Coach, do they have a Sudler Trophy? No. SHUT UP) play this song I've heard on the oldies station a million times. Were my ears playing tricks on me?
Lastly, I will be braving something unheard of tomorrow. I will be driving to Amite, Louisiana to visit family friends. Last time I went there we spotted 13 "Duke Country" signs on telephone poles and trees on the main road. So if no one hears from me by sometime tomorrow night, pray that the last thing I remember isn't banjo music.
Thats it for now, going to bed.
Friday, January 03, 2003
8:27 PM
DO NOT OPEN ANY SCREENSAVER YOU MAY HAVE GOTTEN FROM ME, IT IS A VIRUS!!!
If you did open, go to Symantic to get the fixes for this worm.
Thursday, January 02, 2003
11:17 PM
Today was a fun day at work. Our campus internet went down and so did our LAN.
I got to spend half the day playing with cords and servers trying to figure it out. When I left we had the LAN back up so we could print and get files off of other computers, but no internet as of this afternoon. Got to take my work home and do it here though, so that's cool.
Found a great new site out there, UnofficialCKI.org. It has a lot of the good stuff on the international site, except now its functional. They also have an AIM chatroom I will probably usually be logged into when I have nothing else to do or am at work and have other stuff to do. Might be a neat way just to meet random Circle K people (and who knows, some brave souls who aren't even members).
I have just a few comments on the Cotton Bowl. Roy Williams won that game. And he wasn't even a senior, he plans on coming back next year! Bradie James told Corey Webster (the poor guy that got stuck covering him) to not worry, that's the best he'll ever see in his college career. LSU played a good game, as good as could be expected with what we have left right now (lost our starting QB, miracle working WR, and very big leader FS). I still say Texas could have won the National Championship last year had Applewhite been kept the starter.
Been a while since I needed to see an ambulance at a house I was in that was there to help someone I cared about, but obviously not long enough to get over the last time I had to see it.
For those that know what I'm talking about, I called [[friend]'s friend] at the hospital, and [friend] is fine and resting. All will be fine. (names censored to protect the drunken)
In happier news, I was welcomed to finding Spaceballs on TV when I got home.
Otherwise, Happy New Year (heh - at least terrorists didn't destroy anything yet) and GEAUX TIGERS!
"If we must take this war into their homes and burn them to the ground, we will do so."
-Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman
President, Louisiana State University
